A well-dressed lawyer was out hunting one afternoon when he took a shot at a bird flying overhead. The bird dropped instantly, but luck wasn’t on his side. It fell over a fence and landed squarely in a nearby farmer’s field. Without thinking twice, the lawyer climbed over the fence to retrieve it, already annoyed by the inconvenience.
That’s when an elderly farmer rolled up on his tractor and asked calmly what he thought he was doing. The lawyer explained that he had shot the bird and was simply going to collect it. The farmer shook his head and said the land was private property and the lawyer had no right to be there. The response didn’t sit well with the man in the suit.
The lawyer puffed up his chest and snapped back that he was one of the best trial lawyers in Canada. He threatened to sue the farmer and take everything he owned if he wasn’t allowed to retrieve the bird. The farmer didn’t argue. He just smiled and said that in Alberta, they settled small disputes a different way. He called it the “Three Kick Rule.”
Confused but curious, the lawyer asked what that meant. The farmer explained that since the disagreement happened on his land, he would kick first. He would kick the lawyer three times, then the lawyer could kick him three times, and they would keep going back and forth until one of them gave up. The lawyer looked at the old man, noticed his age and thin frame, and quickly agreed. He figured this would be over in seconds.
The farmer climbed down from his tractor slowly and walked up to the lawyer. Without warning, his first kick landed hard, straight into the lawyer’s groin. The lawyer collapsed to his knees, gasping for air. Before he could recover, the second kick connected squarely with his jaw, snapping his head back and sending him flat onto the dirt. The third kick came down like a hammer, right into the lawyer’s ribs.
The lawyer lay there curled up, wheezing and groaning, dirt smeared all over his expensive suit. After several long moments, he finally managed to look up and whisper, “Okay… okay… my turn.”
The farmer tipped his hat, smiled warmly, and said, “No need. You can have the duck.”
