A husband and wife were sitting in church one Sunday, listening to a sermon that seemed to go on forever. The pastor spoke slowly, carefully explaining every point, every verse, every meaning. Minutes turned into an hour, and the pews grew quieter as heads slowly started to droop.
After a while, the wife couldn’t fight it anymore. Her eyes closed, her head tilted slightly, and she drifted off to sleep right there in the church. The husband noticed immediately. Embarrassed and worried someone might see, he tried to gently wake her up without causing a scene.
He leaned over and softly poked her in the side with his finger. Instantly, the wife jolted awake and shouted, loud enough for half the church to hear, “STOP IT, HAROLD! I’VE TOLD YOU A HUNDRED TIMES — NOT IN PUBLIC!”
The entire church froze. Heads snapped around. The pastor stopped mid-sentence. A wave of shocked silence filled the room, followed by people trying desperately not to laugh. The husband sank into his seat, red-faced and wishing the floor would open up and swallow him whole.
A few minutes later, the sermon dragged on again, and once more, the wife’s eyes slowly closed. She nodded off, completely unaware of what had just happened. The husband panicked. He needed to wake her, but there was no way he was poking her again.
Thinking quickly, he leaned close to her ear and whispered, “Honey… Jesus is coming.”
The wife snapped awake, looked around in terror, and yelled, “THANK GOD! TELL HIM I’VE BEEN READY FOR TEN MINUTES!”
The church erupted.
